The 13 weeks of Pregnancy

For your listening pleasure, a song to the tune of the 12 Days of Christmas……….

In the first week of pregnancy my body gave to me…
my last pass to drink heavily.

In the second week of pregnancy my body gave to me…
two romantic trysts,
and my last pass to drink heavily.

In the third week of pregnancy my body gave to me…
three kids in our future,
two romantic trysts,
and my last pass to drink heavily.

In the fourth week of pregnancy my body gave to me…
four “Wow I’m pregnant!”s,
three kids in our future,
two romantic trysts,
and my last pass to drink heavily.

In the fifth week of pregnancy my body gave to me…
FIVE CHANCES TO BARF,
four “Wow I’m pregnant!”s,
three kids in our future,
two romantic trysts,
and my last pass to drink heavily.

In the sixth week of pregnancy my body gave to me…
a sixth sense of smell,
FIVE CHANCES TO BARF,
four “Wow I’m pregnant!”s,
three kids in our future,
two romantic trysts,
and my last pass to drink heavily.

In the seventh week of pregnancy my body gave to me…
seven random cryings,
a sixth sense of smell,
FIVE CHANCES TO BARF,
four “Wow I’m pregnant!”s,
three kids in our future,
two romantic trysts,
and my last pass to drink heavily.

In the eight week of pregnancy my body gave to me…
eight-thirty bedtimes,
seven random cryings,
a sixth sense of smell,
FIVE CHANCES TO BARF,
four “Wow I’m pregnant!”s,
three kids in our future,
two romantic trysts,
and my last pass to drink heavily.

In the ninth week of pregnancy my body gave to me…
nine hormonal outbursts,
eight-thirty bedtimes,
seven random cryings,
a sixth sense of smell,
FIVE CHANCES TO BARF,
four “Wow I’m pregnant!”s,
three kids in our future,
two romantic trysts,
and my last pass to drink heavily.

In the tenth week of pregnancy my body gave to me…
ten ways boobs are aching,
nine hormonal outbursts,
eight-thirty bedtimes,
seven random cryings,
a sixth sense of smell,
FIVE CHANCES TO BARF,
four “Wow I’m pregnant!”s,
three kids in our future,
two romantic trysts,
and my last pass to drink heavily.

In the eleventh week of pregnancy my body gave to me…
eleven desperate cravings,
ten ways boobs are aching,
nine hormonal outbursts,
eight-thirty bedtimes,
seven random cryings,
a sixth sense of smell,
FIVE CHANCES TO BARF,
four “Wow I’m pregnant!”s,
three kids in our future,
two romantic trysts,
and my last pass to drink heavily.

In the twelfth week of pregnancy my body gave to me…
twelve awkward brain lapses,
eleven desperate cravings,
ten ways boobs are aching,
nine hormonal outbursts,
eight-thirty bedtimes,
seven random cryings,
a sixth sense of smell,
FIVE CHANCES TO BARF,
four “Wow I’m pregnant!”s,
three kids in our future,
two romantic trysts,
and my last pass to drink heavily. 

In the thirteenth week of pregnancy my body gave to me…
thirteen burps per minute,
twelve awkward brain lapses,
eleven desperate cravings,
ten ways boobs are aching,
nine hormonal outbursts,
eight-thirty bedtimes,
seven random cryings,
a sixth sense of smell,
FIVE CHANCES TO BARF,
four “Wow I’m pregnant!”s,
three kids in our future,
two romantic trysts,
and my last pass to drink heavily.